The Client Field Guide
A naturalist's guide to the creative process in the wild. Every species below has been observed, documented and, eventually, invoiced.
The Seven Deadly Sins of Design Clients
- The Sin of Bigger. "Can you make the logo bigger?"
- The Sin of More. "Can we try adding a few more things?"
- The Sin of Free. "It's just a little change."
- The Sin of Urgency. "We need this by tomorrow. We've been thinking about it for six months."
- The Sin of Democracy. "I showed it to fourteen people, and everyone has a different opinion."
- The Sin of Canva. "I made a few tweaks myself. Can you clean it up?"
- The Sin of Amnesia. "I know we approved this last week, but I've been thinking..."
Seven deadly sins. One very tired designer.
Classic client quotes, by department
The Logo Department
- "Can you just make the logo bigger?"
- "Can you make it look more expensive?"
- "Can you make it look more modern, but also more traditional?"
- "I want something timeless, but it needs to look trendy."
- "Can you make it look like Nike, but different?"
- "We need a logo that appeals to everyone."
- "I don't know what I want, but I'll know it when I see it."
- "Can you give us twenty more options? We're not sure about the first nineteen."
The Colour Department
- "Can you make it more blue?"
- "Not that blue. The other blue."
- "Can you make the red more exciting?"
- "My business partner doesn't like that shade."
- "It looked different on my phone."
- "Can we use all the colours? We don't want to exclude anyone."
- "Our competitor uses that colour, so we can't use it."
- "Can you match this colour from a screenshot I took in 2017?"
The Typography Department
- "Can we use Comic Sans? It's friendly."
- "I don't like that font. Can you use something more professional?"
- "Can you make it more elegant but easier to read?"
- "I found a font on Pinterest."
- "Why does the font cost money?"
- "Can you make all the text fit without making anything smaller?"
- "What if we use a different font on every page?"
The Deadline Department
- "It's a quick project."
- "We just need something simple."
- "How hard can it be?"
- "We need it yesterday."
- "The printer needs it in an hour. Can you just send whatever you have?"
- "We haven't approved the design, but can you start production?"
- "We changed the entire concept. The deadline stays the same, right?"
Simple request. Complicated client.
Phrases that add three hours to a project
| Phrase | Hours added |
|---|---|
| "One last thing..." | 3 |
| "While you're at it..." | 3 |
| "It's just a small tweak." | 4 |
| "I made a few changes myself." | 6 |
| "I know we approved it, but..." | 8 |
| "I sent it to a few people." | 12 |
| "Can we make it more like the original?" | 9 |
| "I think we're almost there." | 15 |
| "I know it's Friday afternoon, but..." | The weekend |
"Just a small tweak" is designer for "cancel your evening plans."
The Department of Brand Standards
Official citations. The following offences are crimes against good design.
| Citation | Offence |
|---|---|
| DBS-01 | Stretching a logo to make it fit. |
| DBS-02 | Using fourteen fonts in one brochure. |
| DBS-03 | Putting white text on a light grey background. |
| DBS-04 | Asking for a logo to be bigger after it already dominates the page. |
| DBS-05 | Using a low-resolution JPEG for a twenty-foot sign. |
| DBS-06 | Putting every possible piece of information on the front of a business card. |
| DBS-07 | Using AI to generate a logo with misspelled words. |
| DBS-08 | Changing a brand's colours because someone is bored. |
| DBS-09 | Adding drop shadows to everything. |
| DBS-10 | Using a different logo on every social media platform. |
| DBS-11 | Asking the designer to recreate a reference image that already exists. |
| DBS-12 | Saying "make it pop" without explaining what that means. |
| DBS-13 | Using a QR code that's too small to scan. |
| DBS-14 | Approving a design, then asking for a completely different design. |
| DBS-15 | Asking for a vector logo and sending a screenshot. |
Verdict: guilty of crimes against good design.